Knights of The Round Table

Hello, governor. Hello, governor. My name’s Dr. Merlin. Hello. What’s your name, patient? Oh, my name’s Sir Arthur. Oh, Sir Arthur, could you please tell me what’s troubling you? Well, you see, I was sitting around my round table, and I only had six spots. You know, I had one spot for myself, one spot for you, one spot for Sean Connery, one spot for Daniel Craig, one spot for Peter Griffin, one spot for Daniel Griffin, one spot for Griffin Griffin, one spot for Craig Griffin, one spot for Sean Griffin, and one spot for Connery Connery. There’s the extra seventh spot. I just gave it out. You know, we had nine spots at the table. And then, of course, the tenth spot was Guinevere. And then she would always bring those Rugrats in. And then, you know, once we were playing cards and uh you know, one of the Rugrats came in and said someone’s trying to attack the castle. And I said, we’re playing cards. Dust, dust, poof! And, you know, the so-and-so attacking the castle just turned into Dust Dust and then went Poof and disappeared. It was like Puff the Magic Dragon, I would say, you know. So, uh, you know, that’s what happened. And then, uh, you know, we kept playing cards and then we decided, you know, why don’t we go do some crusades and just dust, dust, poof everyone since it’s so much easier than using the swords. You know, the swords, you end up cutting yourself, you know? You end up cutting yourself when you’re playing with swords. You don’t always cut the enemy. Sometimes you cut yourself, you know? And while your sword’s gently weeping, you know, I don’t know what else to tell you. So, anyways, I ran into Guinevere the other day. I met her on something called the Internet. Yeah, she still looked good, still looked sexy. Don’t you think? Oh, quite. Quite sexy. So, anyways, I decided, you know, I would add some more spots at the table. Who was at our spots? Oh, we added six more spots. Vesper, M, Q. Who else? Oh, James Bond, Daniel Craig, and Sean Connery. And then, oh, yes, we had to add Peter Tosh, Bob Marley, Rita Marley, Damian Marley, Ziggy Marley, Jamrock Marley, and Bob Marley Jr. And then we added Rihanna, ASAP Rocky, Ice Cube, Snoop Dogg, Snoop Doggy Dogg, Snoop Lion, and Young Thug. And then we added, um, who else did we add at the table? Oh, who else did we need to hide from? Oh, let me think for a second. Oh, that was so fun playing those cards back in the day, don’t you think? We really had a good time back then. What were we playing? Oh, that game where you would put the cards above your ears and you looked like a little devil with horns. Yeah, yeah, that was a fun game. What was it called? You Curse? Why was it called You Curse? Oh, because we were doing all those curses on people, the dust dust poof curse while we were playing. Oh yeah, I remember. Yeah, yeah. And then they started thinking, you know, they could do it too. They started trying to put curses on people. And we were just like, what is this bullshit? You remember when I met you, right? Yeah, you pretended to be one of those homeless beggars in the street. And I said, King Arthur, what are you doing out here? And he said, how’d you recognize me, girl? You must be special. And you said, I am special. I know you’re the king. Why are you dressed like a homeless beggar? Well, I was actually looking for a wife. I wanted a woman who liked me when I was a homeless beggar instead of the king, you know. And then I heard about this thing called magicians. And you know, like all these guys were pretending to be magicians in the streets. And I figured, you know, as the king, might as well bring a magician into the, you know, court. So I might as well be the magician myself, you know. I’ll just go out here and act like a magician. That’s why I’m wearing this long coat and carrying this big stick. And, you know, I got this dog with me. And then I got a bunch of keys, too, you know, like, I got keys to some kind of vehicles that you never even seen before. You know what those keys were for? Those were for these two, that one, and that one. Yeah, they’re called the Saab 9000s. I keep them over here with the retired king and retired queen’s house. Yeah, they’re retired now over here. Yeah, they ain’t interested in that anymore. Me? Well, I’m not that interested. I’m more of an actor, comedian, joker, nightcrawler type guy now, you know? You know nightcrawlers? Those are those worms you put on the fishing hook and get any fish you want. Yeah, any fish you want. You just say, nightcrawler, get me a tuna. Got a tuna. Nightcrawler, get me a bass. Got me a bass. Boom, get a bong, get a bong, get a bong. Nightcrawler. I don’t know, I don’t really like any other fish. I’m not really into fish. They be eating poop and stuff in the water. I’m not interested in that. You know me, I prefer those Gatorlyte drinks. You know that Gatorlyte drink? It contains sodium, potassium, chloride, magnesium, calcium, extra, you know, stuff that your body needs for the Krebs cycle and glycolysis and fat metabolism. You know, I drank two of those a day for a month and I lost about 50 pounds. Believe it or not, 50 pounds. I know, you’re probably wondering what I looked like before. People were doing those curses on me, baby. Gwen, don’t you remember I told you they were doing all these curses on me? Anyways, girl, it’s good to see you. You look good. I can’t wait to see you when I see you. See you when I see you. What are we gonna do for dinner? Well, I don’t know. What was it you like? Red Lobsters? Yeah, we can go to the, there’s a whole restaurant called Red Lobster nowadays. Yeah, we can go there. I’ve been there before. I took some princess who saved her virginity from me there. Yeah. She didn’t know how to spread her legs, so I couldn’t fully deflower her. That was pretty recently. I don’t know. I think she stole one of the earrings back. I should say borrowed. I don’t know who else you’re gonna marry. Don’t you know that whole cross religion based on that Hinduism where the blue guy had 10 billion wives or something? 10 billion trillion wives. I don’t know how many he had, that blue guy. Yeah, he was doing about 10 billion wives of fucking, you know what I mean. Anyways, Gwynny, I’ll see you when I see you, okay? I know you’re not the striker anymore. You’re on the sideline. You’re just the coach. The striker coach. I know I got two strikers up there. Maybe three. I got three strikers up there. I got two for sure. Okay, I got two strikers. I’m playing defense. I’m not the goalie. Bidgoli’s in the goalie. Bidgoli’s in the goalie. Yeah, I got three strikers up there. Whoever. It doesn’t matter. We’re playing soccer. Hey, it’s an organization now, don’t you know? What do we call it, organization? Round table. Round table organization. You don’t wanna fuck with us. By the way.

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