So yeah, this lady-lady baby-baby dragon group shows up, right? And they’re all wearing like, fucking goofy-ass Monty Python outfits. They pulled up right in front of my condo. It was fucking crazy. And I’m like, what the fuck are you doing? Like, they pulled up like, and then they like, all got out of the car. And I was just like, what the fuck is this? And then they all like, spread out, walking around everywhere. I was like, who the fuck are these idiots? They look like complete douchebags. They look like they were fucking like, a bad high school version of like, Monty Python or something. It was so sad. And I was like, these are like, the fucking Knights of the round table. Like, who the fuck are these idiots? So apparently someone jacked your fucking Knights of the round table, Harry. Some like, low-class, low-class fucking British retards, man. And these faggots live in Chicago or something. I don’t even know. You know, once I was in the Jeep, this car, and like, Stalin was trying to like, jam my engine or something. Like, it wouldn’t fucking move out of park. And I was like, what the fuck? This Stalin is so schizophrenic, he can fucking fuck with mechanical things. So then I was like, talking to this mafia guy at a bar, and I was like, can you believe someone’s schizophrenia could be that bad that they fucking try to mess with mechanical things? Like, fuck that. I wonder if these shitheads are trying to like, blow up planes or like, divert planes or control them with their mind, these schizophrenic retards. We need to like, auto-inject these people with haloperidol, like, brrr, in the ass. We need to like, fucking auto-inject these people with Olanzapine, like, brrr, in the ass. Like, any of these schizophrenic retards that talk too much in their head, just give them an automatic 50 milligrams of Olanzapine in the ass, like, boom! Give them like, 50 milligrams of haloperidol in the ass, like, boom! Like, fuck these fucking shitheads. Like these fucking schizophrenic retards thinking they’re the Knights of the Round Table, thinking they can, like, make a car fly by making the windshield go wah, wah, wah, wah, wah, wah, wah, wah, wah, wah, wah, wah, wah. Now my car is flying. Wah, wah, wah, wah, wah, wah, wah, wah. Now my car is flying to Chicago. Wah, wah, wah, wah, wah, wah, wah, wah. Now my car is flying into Chicago. Wah, wah, wah, wah, wah, wah, wah, wah.
You know, I had that happen once. I met Joan of Arc. She fucking rolls up to my, I was in the BMW, that one over there, and she’s like, walks up like, a nice chariot. And I’m like, what? She’s like, nice chariot. And I’m like, yeah, I guess it’s a chariot, thanks. And she’s like, remember me? And I’m like, no, I’ve never seen you in my life. She was just a cute chick. I was like, I don’t mind hanging out with you. And she’s like, cool. And then she, like, gets in the car, and she sits with, like, her back to the windshield, and she’s got her leg, like, up on the seat. And she’s like, I’m just, like, drinking a Stella. I was like on the sidewalk by the condo in Chicago. Yeah, I still have the condo, relax. I’m just visiting here while I’m doing all this bullshit. Anyways, so, uh, like, drinking a Stella. I’m like, you wanna beer? She’s like, I’ll have one. So I go grab a Stella. I grab one over there by the door to the fucking stairwell. So I grab this Stella. I grab a Stella. And I’m like, she takes one sip and she’s like, can we go upstairs? And I’m like, what? I’m like, or she’s like, can we go to your place? I’m like, we just opened these beers. It was like a nice night. I was like, out there popping fireworks. So I’m like, just let me let us finish this beer at least. And then she like tells me she wants to have sex and stuff, like, you know how they do that. So I’m like, all right, let’s get out of here. But I’m like, before we go watch this. So I grab this huge firework and I go light it off in the middle of the intersection. It goes boom! It just like echoes everywhere because there’s like tall buildings everywhere. It’s just echoing down the whole fucking street. Like boom! And then she’s like laughing and clapping, like how do I love it? So then we go back up to my place, right? And like she walks in and she’s like, wow, this is nicer than I thought it would be. And I’m like, what the fuck do you think I am? Like this is a BMW you just saw. Like what the fuck do you think this is? And she’s just like amazed by this condo. And then she’s like, here’s my stocking. And she shows me her stocking and it has like a rip on it. And I’m just like, what is this, like lost in translation? You remember that chick’s like, lip my stocking, lip my stocking. And I’m just like, what the fuck is this Joan of Arc bitch fucking telling me about a ripped stocking? Anyways, then we had sex a bunch of times and like, you know, I bought her a bunch of shit. And then like, you know, I gave her this gold chain and this like t-shirt, sweatshirt. And then like one day she’s like wearing, like, yeah, she stayed with me for like three days. So then one day she’s wearing like one of my shirts. And like the number on the shirt changed to 19. I’m like, what the fuck is this? It’s like, how did you change the number on the fucking jersey? That’s so fucking crazy that she did that. So then she’s like, you know, we need to get my car. And I’m like, what do you mean? And she’s like, well, I parked my car there. I think it’s crashed though. And I’m like, where’d you park it? And she’s like, some street like Cortez or something. I’m like, weren’t you at Club Debonair? Like, why the fuck would you park over there? Like, if you know Chicago, it doesn’t make any sense why she would park, like, west of Western when she’s fucking going to Debonair. And she parked south of Division. Like, I’m like, south of Division and west of Western going to Club Debonair. Like, it doesn’t make sense. She said her friend was DJing or something. So then we’re like driving around looking for this car. I think I had the Audi by that time. So I was driving like a manual transmission Audi around the city. And it had like all the paint job on there, like that blue paint. You know, like when I saw like, what’s her face? Anne Frank. Yeah, I saw Anne Frank. Her picture showed up on the hood when I put the paint and then Jesus Christ, Redeemer was on the back bumper. And then like, there was a bunch of other art. I took pictures of it all. It’s all in this art book I made. So anyways, I, uh, we’re driving around like, where the fuck is this street? Like, it didn’t show up on anything. And finally I find this street like jammed between two streets. It’s like, it doesn’t even make sense why it’s there. So then we go down the street and I see this tiny ass red car with like the front left wheel, like, completely smashed. But not that bad. Like, it could still drive, like, so she pulls it out. And then I call this tow truck and I’m like, well, let’s go to Delgado’s, you know, I usually took my ex-girlfriend’s car there. So we go to Delgado’s. Or I tried to put Delgado in the GPS and then it disappears. I’m like, what the fuck is this? And then, like, a tow truck comes up, but it’s like, not the one I called. And I’m like, why are you trying to tow her? I didn’t call you. And then he, he left. And then another guy came with the one I called. And I was like, who was that guy? So then that guy takes me to the Delgado, which I found in the real Delgado. And then we go to Delgado’s, and like, I’m driving this red car around, like, just to check it out. It’s like a little go-kart. So then finally I drop it off there. And then, um, you know, like, a day later, all of a sudden she gets up and starts, like, walking out of the condo. I’m like, where are you going? She’s like, oh, I gotta go. I’m like, what about your car? And she’s like, someone’s picking me up. And I’m like, what? So we go downstairs, and then, like, she’s just, like, walking off, like, just walking off. I’m like, there’s no car here to pick you up. Where the fuck are you going? So I just, like, followed her down the street. And then finally this car pulls up, and there’s like this ugly chick inside, and she’s like, says something weird to me. And I’m just like, what the fuck is this? And then Joan of Arc gets in the car, and I’m just like, brrr, I turned the bitch into a snake, the other bitch. And then the snake drove her home, like, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. I guess she kept the snake as her pet. That’s what she told me later. But yeah, I still see her big once in a while. She goes by Stef. S-T-E-F. I have her number somewhere. I tried calling her a couple times, like, a couple months later, just to see if she wanted to hang out again, but she didn’t pick up. We had a good time those three days. It was pretty fun. It was pretty fun. Oh, yeah, she wanted, like, this Mario some guy’s, like, facial body spray. She said it, like, freshens her up when she’s in battles or something. Yeah, here’s your infinity of that. Boom, there we go. Yeah, that’s what we do with, like, Merlin times, you know. Those are the Merlin, Merlin show, the Merlin show. Welcome to the Merlin show.